How do I become someone I respect? Someone my children look up to?
I’ve always been cognizant of my two strengths: an acute awareness of my flaws and the will to change them.
I do not believe anyone is innately more disciplined or intelligent than I am, so there must be some method of acquiring the virtues I know I lack.
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I read Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography over a decade ago, but I felt a sudden urge to reread a quiet night about two years ago:
It was about this time I conceived the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. I wished to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into. As I knew, or thought I knew, what was right and wrong, I did not see why I might not always do the one and avoid the other.
Our quest shares the same naive pride. If a perfect man can exist, why shouldn’t I be that man?
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Franklin then lists the following virtues and precepts:
TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates
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So how does he track them? And why thirteen of them?
Franklin would track them in a small book, dedicating a page to each virtue and ruling it with columns for each day of the week. He marked the day with a black spot per mistake (e.g. a trifling conversation for silence) and aimed for a clean slate.
Franklin concentrated on one virtue per week in a set order since mastering one would make it easier to acquire the next. Temperance gave him the mental clarity for Silence, and so on to Humility. Thirteen virtues means thirteen weeks, allowing him to repeat it four times a year.
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As someone born three centuries after him, I obviously have a different selection of virtues. In the years I’ve been tracking it, I’ve also changed the process and selection many, many times.
Today, half a year after publishing this, I decided to condense them for the first time as I realized I do not focus in two week intervals but rather prioritize whatever is most fundamental:
TEMPERANCE: Embrace life unassisted.
REGIMEN: Live a strenuous life.
ORDER: Give each thing its place. Give each business its time.
SILENCE: Speak with purpose.
SERENITY: Trust the rain will come.
RESOLUTION: Resolve what you ought. Perform what you resolve.
METTA: Love thy self. Love thy neighbor.
VIGILANCE: Don’t pull down your hedges.
AUDACITY: Stay hungry
HUMILITY: Imitate Moses and Buddha.
CHARITY: Give greatly. Give freely.
My list is formulated so that I find it difficult to pursue the next without habituating the former. The rejection of vice and escapism (Temperance) gives me the clarity needed to live the strenuous life (Regimen). A sound mind in a sound body allows me to bring order to my home and routine to my day (Order).
I now extend cleanliness mind and circle by replace trivial chats with fermentation (Silence). I build faith through quiet (Serenity) and begin to sow the seeds and plow the earth (Resolution). Halfway there, it’s easier to find peace with myself and extend this love to others (Metta).
The last four virtues prevent the virtue from spilling over into weakness. Vigilance checks the naïveté of Metta. Audacity checks the complacency of Serenity. Finally, Humility and Charity check the excesses of success.
This, I hope, reaches perfection.
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I track my progress (in good dork fashion) with an excel sheet, marking the first three virtues, which are more black-or-white, with a binary system. The rest I mark between 1 and 3, with 1 = poor, 2 = average or no chance to exercise, and 3 = very good.
I track each virtue every night before bed, after writing my journal. Each excel sheet is 3 months long (for ease of use), after which I duplicate and start anew.
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Franklin struggled most with Order and Humility. I struggled with far more than just those, and learned some lessons the hard way:
Temperance means zero. Do not exchange one form of escape for a “lesser” one (e.g. alcohol to nicotine or gaming to television). You can partake socially only after you certainly prefer zero to any.
Order does not mean get things in the morning then clean it up by nighttime—it means always clean.
Industry does not mean cutting off all that makes you happy. This was my most recent burn. Pursue your hobbies without letting “optimization” consume you.
Never attempt to love others before yourself.
Never attempt to take risks without caution. You need more than you think.
Each virtue, like all things, has a du and must be done in moderation. For example, too much Order in scheduling makes you inflexible, too much Silence makes you antisocial, and too much Humility makes you a doormat.
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I’ll leave you off with a quote from Old Benny:
Though I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining . . . I was, by the endeavor, a better and a happier man than I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it; as those who aim at perfect writing by imitating the engraved copies, though they never reach the wished-for excellence of those copies, their hand is mended by the endeavor, and is tolerable while it continues fair and legible.
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This is one part of my search. For more Wisp, click here.